Miscellaneous

got sleeves? USE THEM.

29.06.13

 (please click on the GIF to witness the horror)

If you’ve clicked on the image don’t see anything wrong in that image: 1) there’s something wrong with you; 2) you’re probably guilty of the same crime I’m denouncing; 3) there definitely is something wrong with you. In simpler terms, I’m referring to the completely ridiculous trend of wearing a jacket as a cape. Like seriously people, though this inane trend first cursed the rationality of functional sleeves a couple of years ago when some stupid fashion editor decided to pretend she had no arms and thus go armless with her jacket, for some incomprehensible reason, the trend managed to soldier on and has now been adopted by legions of contemptibly pretentious fashun sheep the world over.

So, to put it simply, STOP WEARING YOUR JACKET AS A CAPE.

I mean, you know that this minor issue has totes become a monster-sized threat of global proportions to the sanctity of street-style and general sanity when there’s actually a GIF capturing the sheer absurdity of some #menswear bro wearing a jacket as a cape. Imagine my horror (and indignation) when I opened up the Jak & Jil page, and was consequently was forced to torturously watch (I couldn’t not, obvi) said cocky, #menswear bro strutting the streets of some fashion capital wearing a jacket as a cape, and desperately trying to look cool all while totes “nonchalantly” making sure his jacket-cum-cape doesn’t fall off his shoulders.

Sprezzatura, my cynical, black ass.

My main gripe with this fad (for lack of a better word) is that it quite literally is the most inconvenient manner of wearing a jacket. And I say that with full certitude seeing as, for the sake of scientific experimentation, I subjected myself to this fashionable torture, and subsequently came to the surprising conclusion that this shit is just plain dumb. Like actually, I can’t even. Though this realization was concordant with my initial hypothesis that fashion editors grasp so little of the basic concept of functionality, I was nonetheless shocked by how right I was (#leduh). I mean, I’m not even sure you can get any more counterintuitive. I use that term expressly because it goes completely against all common sense to not wear a jacket for its intended purpose. Shit, if the damn thing has sleeves on it, might as well use ‘em.

Though I can understand the feeling of fierceness one gets when partaking in this nonsensical trend (remember, I tried), regrettably enough, the strut that naturally accompanies said sentiment  of “the shit-ness” isn’t worth having to re-adjust your jacket every other step seeing as it sorta isn’t a cape. Again, I speak from “scientific” experience. I must note that the only way to, remedy this #firstworldproblem of epic proportions is to move as little as possible while walking (but actually), if not risk your jacket falling down and you looking like an even bigger idiot than before (if that’s even possible).

So, I reiterate, STOP WEARING YOUR DAMN JACKET AS A CAPE. It’s looks and makes you look like shit.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it; if it has sleeves, use them.
Tabarnak.

Oh yeah, HAPPY CANADA DAY BITCHES!

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So this remix of Cassie’s timeless “Me and You” is fast becoming a classic of its own. Despite the simplicity of the track, there’s just something about how well Cassie’s distorted vocals harmonize with the song’s deep bassline and trap-esque elements. I mean, I used to find Cassie exceptionally irritating, but with her most recent mixtape and remixes like this, there’s just something about her style that I can’t get enough of. I don’t know if it’s the snares, the excessive bass or the piano notes in the beginning, but this track just hits the spot.

One thought on “got sleeves? USE THEM.

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